Stu The Wise for President » Important Announcements

“Birthers” Need Not Fear

Stu The Wise — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 16:53:38 +0000

Back in September, it was asked of me to show my birth certificate. Well, unlike another certain presidential hopeful, I am not afraid to do so!

Here, America, is irrefutable evidence of my native-American birth!

You can now put all those rumors of “the next Mussolini” to rest.

Stu The Wise Announces Vice Presidential Running Mate

Stu The Wise — Thu, 04 Nov 2010 18:47:37 +0000

History has been made yet again! Spread the word. Someday you’ll be able to tell your grandkids, “I was there!”

Nothing less than great things are coming for America! Do the right thing and vote Stu The Wise for President in 2012. Do it for your kids and their future. Do it because I’m awesome.

Meg Whitman Endorses Stu The Wise (maybe)

Stu The Wise — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 20:23:28 +0000

Multi-billionaire former CEO of eBay and California gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman now endorses Stu The Wise for President! There can be no doubt about this. The evidence is in the doctored photo shown here:

What can you say to that? Billionaires obviously know what they are talking about. This clearly leaves you no choice but to vote Stu The Wise for President in 2012!

Stu The Wise Now Endorsed by God!

Stu The Wise — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 19:24:31 +0000

Remembering my last run for the presidency, particularly the accusations from backers of ordained minister Mike Huckabee that feared Mitt Romney’s prayers, “…wouldn’t be heard by God,” and that by voting for Romney you were actually voting for the Devil himself, I decided to ensure that my prayers would not only be heard, but that God would be forced to hear my prayers.

Thus, there would be absolutely no doubt from the Christian-right that I am not only the proper choice for President, but that I am the only legitimate choice of any God-fearing person.

But how in the world would I do that? Imagine my relief when I stumbled across the Universal Life Church Monastery. Thanks to their online ordination, I could become an ordained minister on the spot! And so I did:

And now the Great Beyonder has no choice but to hear me!

Stu The Wise… now taking prayer requests and guaranteeing your salvation in exchange for your vote in 2012.

Stu The Wise for President in 2012

Stu The Wise — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 01:39:55 +0000

It’s time for the people to take back their nation!

You can make a difference by voting for Stu The Wise for President in 2012. Over the coming weeks, months, and years I’ll be telling you exactly why the smartest decision you’re likely to ever make in your life is to vote for Stu The Wise for President in 2012.

But if you want to get serious about making the world a better place, forget about reducing your carbon footprint, feeding starving children in Africa, or shoveling your frail neighbor’s walk in the winter and get it in your head that you will vote for Stu The Wise in 2012!